Dear Mini Donut and Babe,
I’m not sure what to tell you at this point in our lives. We are all pretty new to this whole father/son thing especially after Babe came around and the dynamic changed a little bit. All I can do is tell you what I’ve determined so far.
All The Stuff
You guys come with a lot of crap. No offense but when it was just your mom and I we could leave the house within 5 minutes of deciding to do so. Right now if we have to go anywhere at a specific time we give ourselves 15-20 minutes to get you ready before we have to leave. In general, it takes a half hour to prep everything if we are going on a long car ride (Both sets of Grandparents question why we don’t come over more?!).
I know as soon as Babe is out of diapers and eating normal food it gets a lot lighter but still, it isn’t just trips. You guys have so many toys it’s ridiculous. I know I’m not one to talk since most of the toys you have were from my childhood (thank your Grandparents for being borderline hoarders). Don’t worry, seems like every time we go to either Grandparents they have some new thing for you to have). Your mom and I love the days Babe grows out of a size of clothes or toy because a picture is taken and we post it on Facebook for sale.
Can you believe your play area used to be an empty room where the cat tower was?!
Maybe what I’m trying to say is even though we are pseudo minimalists you clearly are the balance in our Force. Soon you will see the light and shed away some of the toys (maybe).
We have tried to keep some of the stuff at bay. Working with your extended family, and valuing experiences over possessions.
Education Is So Important
Oh little guys, this is one experience that I hope you do better than I did. I would never say I was a bad student but looking back I know I could have been better.
I don’t know if your Grandparents ever put so much thought into my education as a pre-elementary school kid. We have tried to make sure you both get exposure to educational concepts through you daycare (while still letting you be kids and have fun). If we ever had to change daycares rest assured we will be full of unrest painfully reviewing every option we have.
Your mom and I want you to have the best chance you can. We started 529’s for both of you as soon as we had your social security numbers in our hands. Your Grandparents were very adamant that your aunts and I went to college. I’m so grateful they gave us the chance to go but I won’t force you to go. All I ask is you do something to go a step further. There are countless, great, jobs you can get from a tech school, trade school, or apprenticeship.
Learn By Doing
Babe, you haven’t heard this yet but Mini Donut knows by heart that, “My number one job is to keep you safe.” I never thought in my wildest dreams I would be willing to die to protect another person but I would die if it meant keeping you both safe.
I want you boys to live these lives to the fullest. I’ll try to not be overprotective and try to treat you both the same. (I’ve already noticed I’ve let Babe do things we would never have let Mini Donut do. Mostly because I’ve learned that as long as I’m there watching it’ll be ok.)
Our bucket list is full of experiences we hope you can have while you grow up in our home. There are so many cool places and cultures out there in the world. One of the best gifts your Grandparents gave me was helping me study a semester in England. Experiencing another culture and traveling to other countries to see their world changes your view on life.
You Knew This Part Was Coming
While I was growing up Grandpa and Grandma didn’t have much but they were proud of what they had. It didn’t stop them from pushing forward to try to change their situation. I hope to keep that tradition going for this family. While some of the things we have aren’t the nicest I’m still proud of who we are and as you’ll come to find out I’m a bit obsessed with pushing forward.
I’d have to say I’m a bit sad I wasn’t able to retire before you both came but had we gone down that path you two wouldn’t be the two I know (if you haven’t watched this movie you may understand my meaning more).
My favorite time is watching you both grow up. I can’t wait for the summer to come so we can go to the park and play. I know that I wouldn’t enjoy it as much if we still had debt weighing on us still. I’ll do my best to cover your college costs but after that, it is all on you both to keep out of debt as much as possible.
You don’t need a new car.
There are plenty of ways to do it without a mortgage but if you do have to take out that one I get it. Perhaps you should at least try doing some house hacking to help speed along the payments.
Credit cards should be paid off entirely at the end of each month.
Learn By Living
But if you are anything like me you probably won’t listen and have to figure things out on your own. That’s fine and we are here for you whenever you do want some advice. We’ve made plenty of stupid mistakes and that only helps you in the end. You just need to learn from them so you don’t repeat them.
Too sappy? This isn’t my first letter to my kids, just the first open one. Do you write letters to your kids for the future? Do you hope to?