One of the biggest pet peeves of any parent is having someone tell them how to raise their children…so why do people do it?! Parents should know better!
I am bewildered by the nerve of people.
Around the time little Mini Donut was 6 months old I was shopping at Target, like you do, in the baby aisle,a parents favorite location, surveying all the gross sounding food combinations I could buy. I was interrupted from my trance by a couple who…were new parents… (that’s a nice way of saying they looked tired and had baby drool marks on their clothes.)
The woman started asking me all these questions about what food to buy to get their few week old to gain more weight. This was never a problem for Mini Donut (he likes his food).
I told her some tricks I had heard others doing but if she was really concerned that is something to talk to the pediatrician about.
Come to find out that it was comments made by other people so I took another look at the healthy baby and started trying to calm them down.
Here was a young family doing just fine, scared to death that they were doing everything wrong. All parents want to do is protect their young and others were capitalizing on this fear to control this couple. We parted ways and there was a slight look of relief on their faces.
Personal is Personal
Personal finance is exactly that, personal. What works for some may not work for others. Maybe that’s why I have problems with the all or nothing approach of some radio personalities in the PF community. There are many ways to get yourself out of debt the right way.
I find a full budget as a great tool to track spending. I know many that thrive with zero sum budgets or use a two checking system and don’t need a budget.
Which brings me to last Sunday, I sat in the living room with my sister and mother-in-law.
The Joys of Family
My mother-in-law was telling everyone about how she was sending my 2.5 year old money is the mail to teach him about money. I looked at her and asked, “that’s what you are doing? I thought it was just something fun for you two?” (Kids love getting mail) Apparently not. She said she wanted him to learn about coins and how money works. “By giving it to him for nothing?” I replied.
It made me frustrated that someone was taking it upon themselves to teach my kid about money. I stated how we don’t know exactly what we are going to do about allowance but we will do research and make our own decisions. For now he is fine with the current system.
That’s what peaked my sister’s attention. She had just finished up talking about all the injustices she faced because I got more for an allowance than she did. Never mind I am significantly younger and our parents didn’t have two pennies to rub together while she was growing up but they were much better off while I was growing up.
Doing Our Own Thing
“What system?” She asked. I outlined that Mini Donut gets $10 a month put in his savings and we use that to pay for his clothes, toys, and whatever else.
I cut her off right before her tirade explaining Ms Blue Ribbon and I get $15 for the same thing.
My sister was confused how we could buy so much stuff with so little money and the conversation ended.
In the end people are happy to tell you what you are doing wrong especially when they “are doing everything perfect.” I want you to learn for yourself. You aren’t going to know what works best for you unless you see what the different options are and make them your own.
Ok parents, let’s hear those stories of people trying to parent your kids!
Ok money people, let’s hear the stories about people judging you for your money habits!